Groom of the Tyrannosaur Queen by Daniel M. Bensen

Author:Daniel M. Bensen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-04-19T16:00:00+00:00

Triceratops hatchling by Jakub Kowalski

"Hold the beak shut, I said! The mother triceratops in the herd of the next tribe over will hear that and trample us."

Snap.

"And don't lose any fingers." Mree's voice went sing-song. "Cut cut cut and needle and gut. Sew it closed. Good, Njrea. Now hand me the next one."

They caponized all young bulls except for the one they somehow decided was "the best." That one they'd feed up until it got "big enough to kill someone," when they'd drive it off into the bush.

"How would life be if we did the same thing to babies?" someone laughed.

"I can think of a few men the process would improve."

"But whose testicles would we keep whole?" A lot of sidelong glances at Andrea. Mother of God, was she blushing?

"So how is he?" asked a tall, blond girl younger than Andrea. Lidh?

"Uh," said Andrea, "you mean in bed?"

"Or wherever," someone sniggered.

"I heard he took you out on the Face of God, surrounded by the corpses of the beasts he'd slain for you." Lidh said. "I think about him sometimes when I'm with my husband."

Jesus, that was more information than Andrea wanted. Was everyone in the herd that jealous of her? But no. The sighs, Andrea noticed, only came from the young women. Mree and her cohort exchanged frowns.

"Lidh, Shlee, you go collect something to feed the hatchlings," said Mree. "And Njrea, you hold this little angel."

Andrea accepted the next baby triceratops. "You know," she whispered to Mree. "You know how crazy Trals is."

"If Trals has...particular needs" said Mree, "well, we'll help our Njrea fill them, won't we? Here," Mree thrust a newly caponized triceratops at her. "Take care of the animal."

"It's true," said another abuela, "and everyone knows it, that all men are fairly useless."

"Everyone knows it," agreed Mree. "Hunting necklings while the women do the real work. Can you imagine?"

Njrea set the baby triceratops down, let it rub itself against her fingers. "How…" How much did Mree know? "What do you think Trals is doing with your tribe?"

"He is hunting necklings," Mree evaded. "Do you know what a neckling is, Njrea? Like a flocker, but much bigger? It has a long neck. But what's important is that necklings are the reincarnated souls of babies who died from a curse. If you see one alone, that means someone is thinking bad thoughts about your children. But if you see a group—"

Oh, for fuck's sake. "I'll see it tonight when the hunters bring it back." And her HUD would either fail to identify it or give her some three-inch-long Latin word to describe it.

"Look," Andrea said, "can we—fuck." She hopped backward from whatever it was that had just slammed into her shin. The Ethlek women laughed.

Andrea looked down at the baby triceratops. Tired of being ignored, the little creature had apparently decided to learn how to walk and attack people.

"Oh," Mree smiled and said something that sounded like Eethlek baby-talk. Apparently the triceratops was "the sweetiest, pokiest little angel."

It would be cuter if Andrea's leg didn't sting like a motherfucker.

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